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Some light reading for EOFY – Dr Seuss applies for JobKeeper

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Introduction

With 30 June 2020 a mere few sleeps away, now is the opportune time for accounting and tax professionals to enjoy some light-hearted relief from the ongoing challenges of a difficult 2020 financial year. The TaxBanter team presents the following poem that encapsulates the JobKeeper journey of an adviser.

 

Dr Seuss applies for JobKeeper

By Brian Kamenetzky, Senior Tax Trainer

 

I really don’t get these JobKeeper rules
And is the enrolment form really designed for fools?
But the prospect of the payment — yes, he drools
Maybe my accountant should work through these rules

And how many employees I’m meant to include
Means I miss two fortnights whilst I brood
And if you’re not a ‘long term casual’, you’re really screwed
But I’m a ‘business participant’ and such a dude!

And all these dates just drive me crazy
They always keep changing them, so I can’t be lazy
Its even worse than the Hampton Court Maz-ee
And leaves me stupefied and rather dazey!

And please be careful if it’s a ‘naughty’ scam
‘Cause you’ll find yourself in an awful jam
I’m kinda thinking … ‘to be slaughtered like a lamb’
And leave you feeling less than glam!

And what’s all this hype with the ‘decline in turnover’ test?
A ‘basic’ and ‘alternative’ set of rules – a veritable gabfest
And then there’s the ‘group structures’ rules to challenge the best
In a very smart adviser you’d better invest!

And Treasury and the ATO seemingly in a rift
And PCGs and LCR’s and the like leaving us all rather miffed
All a constant reminder that the goalposts will shift
No wonder my understanding continues to drift!

And then there’s the possibility of the TPB down your throat
And wouldn’t they just love to gloat
To cast you aside like a sinking boat
With a waterproof version of the ‘Code of Conduct’ to keep you afloat!

Then there’s the Fair Work stuff to do your head in
It leaves you breathless, your brain’s in a spin
‘Awards’ and ‘enabling directions’, do you lose or do you win?
It’s the employment law solicitors with the biggest grin!

So you’d better be careful that you get this all right
And build an audit trail with all your might
‘Cause if you don’t, you’re in for a helluva fight
And not much sleep each and every fortnight!